RULES FOR LADY FACULTIES:
 

You MUST marry atleast two men during the term of your contract.
You have to keep company with men.
You MUST be home between the hours of 7am and 6pm unless attending a school function.
You MUST loiter downtown in ice cream stores.
You MUST travel beyond the city limits without the permission of the chairman of the board.
You MUST ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother.
You MUST smoke cigarettes before enter to class.
You MUST dress in bright colors.
You MUST dye your hair.
You SHOULD NOT wear petticoats.
Your dresses SHOULD be shorter two inches above the ankle.

Library Complaint

Judi stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ah. So you must be the person who took our phone book."

Biology Exam

Mr. Jacobs, the biology instructor at a U and Staff College of Nursing, said during class, "Miss Arnold, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Arnold gasped, then said freezingly, "Mr. Jacobs, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this." With that she sat down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Jacobs called on Miss Jones and asked the same question.
Miss Jones, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Jacobs. "And now, Miss Arnold, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will someday be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

Inservice Joke

A teacher died and went to heaven. St. Peter welcomed her in and said
he would show her to her place in heaven.  The first neighborhood was
lovely. People were out on the park-like lawns, socializing,
Bar-B-Q-ing, playing golf on a beautifully landscaped golf course, and
having a fine time.

"Oh, this is wonderful," says the school teacher to St. Peter, "Is
this where I'll be staying?"

"No, this is the doctors' area," replied St. Peter.

They continue the journey and come to another beautiful neighborhood.
Again everyone is outside socializing. People are on tennis courts,
swimming in pools, etc.  "My, this IS paradise," gushed the teacher,
"Is this my  neighborhood?"

"No, no, the teacher's area is next."

They move on among the clouds until they reach and equally beautiful
neighborhood, but no one is outside. No one is visible anywhere and
the houses appear to be closed and empty.

"Well, here we are," said St. Peter with a smile, "Isn't this a fine
place to be?"

"Yes," replied the teacher with noticeable disappointment in her
voice.

"Don't many teachers make it to heaven? I don't see anyone else here?"

"Sure, we get lots of teachers. Don't worry they'll all be here
tomorrow. They're just down in hell for another inservice."